Co-dependence

Last poem on anything drug related.

Co-dependenence

I was hesitant to take your trembling and pale hands in mine,
not quite sure of my stand in your new beginning.
Not quite sure if you’d take lightly to the sky that held a promise of turbulent clouds;
reflective of your old days.
Your cheeks are sunken from the tablets that drained the life out of them;
you used to call them The Elixir of Life like The Alchemist; I remember you loved that book.
I remember how much you loved life, before The Fall.
I felt your pulse quicken with apprehension as the knowledge of our co- dependence dawned on you,
the muscles of your arms tautened and then you looked at me;
a telling stare, I visibly relaxed because I had faith in your eyes
your eyes, with so much depth, and small glitter.
I thought:
“this is familiar to me, I could work with this”
and so I gave you a small smile, like the ones we shared in our innocence,
and you pursed your lips a bit, but that’s okay,
I can only ask for so much.
Our steps were calculated, almost philosophical in their languidness.
I remember thinking about how solid the ground was, that that was going to be us
allied in our co- dependence.
And today, here I sit, waiting for you to exhale.
You see, sometimes I get cold- feet, because I depend on the breaths you take, on your sobriety
Don’t relapse Carris, because I have faith in your eyes,
and we are co-dependent.

- C.M